


Rules of Attraction

by SHO



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crime, F/M, Humor, M/M, Multi, Mystery, Reverse roles, Romance, Seiyuu, Suspense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-09-09
Updated: 2011-09-08
Packaged: 2017-10-23 13:40:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/250907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SHO/pseuds/SHO
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kakashi and Iruka are seiyuu for the popular anime, Icha Icha Paradise. Kakashi voices an innocent teacher and Iruka, a pervert. On screen their characters get along pretty well. The problem? In real life, they absolutely loathe each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rule One

Rule One: Hating Each Other Will Get You Nowhere

  


ӂ - ӂ

 

As much as Iruka loved the rain, he didn't exactly want to be caught in it and without an umbrella to say the least.

Just over the unfortunate civilian, the sky was cast in a dark gray color and drops of icy rain began to fall towards the Earth, beckoning dismay throughout the city. The wind stiffened, tugging the branches of the trees, causing leaves to fall prior to their time. The weather couldn't possibly get any worse or at least Iruka hoped it wouldn't.

At the jinxing thought, the faint splattering noises of rain suddenly pelted, hitting his feet and leaving trails of water droplets sliding down his black shoes. A large boom echoed into the far distance behind him and he felt the rumble just as he neared his destination.

He sighed in relief, relaxing once he reached the door that led him into the lobby of the building. He flashed the building's security guard a quick smile, mumbling a good morning before continuing into the elevator. On impulse he looked at his watch as the elevator doors closed. Up until now he'd been so reluctant to check the time; he didn't need to look at it to know he was dramatically late for recording sessions.

Once the elevator doors opened at the fifth floor, he sped down the hallways. Iruka opened the glass door before removing his wet coat, throwing it on top of the hanger near the entrance.

From the middle of the room, a man was drinking coffee, hanging on the edge of the front desk with a drowsy expression. His face quickly brightened when the drenched man entered the office and quickly approached him.

"You finally showed up," the man said, smiling. "You're an hour late Iruka."

Iruka wiped the water that slid down the bridge of his noise with a finger and laughed. He gripped his ponytail, giving the ends a light twist to remove the water. In his usual polite nature, Iruka smiled back at his co-worker and raised a hand, "Good morning, Raidō."

Raidō handed him a cup of coffee that had been waiting for Iruka patiently for a good twenty minutes prior to his arrival. But it was fine; Raidō brewed it extra hot in case the weather delayed Iruka. As it turned out, over the many years they'd known each other, Iruka always had the tendency to be late when it rained. The reason still bewildered Raidō but he never questioned the peculiar habit.

"Thank you…um…so, am I in trouble?" Iruka asked anxiously.

Raidō generated a smile that made Iruka relax, obviously indicating that he was fine. "Actually, they've been having trouble with your microphone this whole morning. They had to call up Aoba to fix it," he explained.

Iruka failed to suppress a look that read _thank goodness_. It had absentmindedly manifested itself, to his friend's amusement. But he wasn't in the clear area just yet. "And…there aren't any more spares?" he asked.

His co-worker shook his head. "We had two but they're being used to record Kotetsu's and Asuma's lines right now," he replied. "Kami-sama only knows how much Kotetsu's messing up his lines in there…I mean, it's not like we have to memorize any lines. We read off a script!"

Iruka laughed at his cynical disposition. "Kotetsu's character in Icha Icha is pretty flamboyant and Kotetsu isn't at all like that, so I understand why he's been messing up," he defended.

Raidō rolled his eyes, rejecting Iruka's notion of defending Kotetsu. "Yeah, but you're amazing at every character you've done in other anime. Even your character in Icha Icha is nothing like you…he's a total pervert," he replied.

Although Raidō was always praising Iruka, it still managed to create a tinge of light-pink on Iruka's cheeks. Iruka scratched his temple, humbly replying, "Ah…Jiraiya is a great guidance whenever he's in the studio…it is his anime after all."

Raidō agreed with Iruka and sipped on his coffee until they heard the rumbling thunder from outside and the heavy taps against the glass windows. Iruka's eyes filled with extensive worry and he heavily lamented over forgetting to bring an umbrella, out of all days.

Sensing Iruka's distress, Raidō pointed to a dark green umbrella in the far corner of the room inside a pail. "That umbrella has been in the studio for weeks, since the last time it rained but no one's claimed it," he said.

Iruka began to shake his head. "Ah, I really shouldn't—"

"Just take it; I'm sure whoever left it there won't miss it," Raidō reassured. Without so much of a counter arguement, Iruka thanked him and tucked it under his arms as Raidō handed it over. The two were interrupted when another man entered the room with sleep deprivation hinted under his eyes with burden heavy bags. His posture was slightly slumped, taking a seat near Iruka and yawned.

"Good morning Izumo. How did it go inside?" Iruka asked.

Izumo rubbed the sleep from his eyes, realizing Iruka was scooted over next to him. "G'morning Iruka, you're finally here! It went just fine. Kotetsu kept screwing up his lines though," he replied.

Raidō shot Iruka a smug look, proven right. Iruka ignored it and went on to offer his share of coffee to Izumo, who took it gratefully. It was very much like Iruka to have such a caring personality, it rubbed off on anyone who came into contact with him. Nearly everyone who knew Iruka admired him since his cheerful personality left an everlasting impression. And out of everyone from the studio, it left Raidō astonished.

Izumo resumed his horrific story of being paired up in the same recording studio as Kotetsu and then his face turned stern. "Just one little warning," he said, breaking away from his rant. "When 'Tetsu and I were going over our lines, we spotted Kakashi and Genma in Mizuki's old studio…"

Iruka's buoyant psyche suddenly left him. His eyes twitched at the mention of Hatake Kakashi, who voiced one of the main characters of the entire anime series of Icha Icha. The critically acclaimed sieyuu was known for his serious roles in other anime; in fact, he only accepted serious characters and quite often the roles of main characters or villains. How the studio managed to contract Kakashi to play the role of a simple school teacher, no one really knew.

"Don't know how Kakashi voices with that innocent type character though," Raidō mumbled. "If anything, you guys are playing the wrong roles. I see Kakashi like the serious type."

Iruka crossed his arms. "Why would you say that? Kakashi's always played the main character, the popular one, so I think it suits him."

Raidō rubbed his head and replied, "Actually…your character is just as popular as his. Maybe the jealousy is why he dislikes you."

Izumo bit his lip and looked back at Iruka, fearing for the life of Namiashi Raidō. Iruka was suggestive when he was bothered and even unpredictable if Kakashi was involved in the conversation. Izumo watched Iruka's mouth opening to sound a protest against Kakashi, until the door that led to the main studio opened, revealing a young woman with shoulder length dark hair and a clipboard pressed to her chest with a gentle smile. Raidō was saved.

"Oh Iruka," she called. "Have you been waiting all this time?"

He faked a frown. "Yes I have, Shizune. Is my microphone ready?"

Shizune offered an apologetic look. "And this whole time we thought you were late again. Yes, Aoba managed to get the tweaks all worked out. Your session will take longer though," she informed regretfully.

"It's no problem," he reassured gently. The two entered the studio and with a final shut of the door, the room fell silent and Raidō and Izumo sat still. They concurrently sipped on their coffee as many different thoughts raced in their heads about their fellow co-worker Iruka.

"Hey Raidō," Izumo finally called.

He looked back. "What is it?"

"Why do you think they hate each other?"

Raidō shrugged, but whether it was from a lack of a genuine answer or his shared distaste over Kakashi, Izumo didn't know.

ӂ - ӂ

When it rained it poured.

Hatake Kakashi stared out the window with an unreadable face as he sat on his chair, dreading the day. His eyes remained fixed on the old elm outside, tapping lightly against the window while the wind howled. With erratic fervor, the clanging of his playback video interrupted his thoughts, pounding on the man's eardrums and sending spiked waves into the recesses of his brain. Kakashi looked back at Genma who had been playing with the sound mixers.

"Sorry I had to do that," Genma said, shifting his toothpick to the other side of his mouth. He eyed Kakashi suspiciously before moving away from the audio equipment but he didn't question Kakashi's odd behavior. "Well, since we're done for now, you up for a quick bite to eat?"

"Our session starts up again in another hour," Kakashi said, impulsively staring down at his watch. "Maa, I guess we have time."

Genma grunted. "You suck with time management. Let's get going then."

Kakashi scratched the back of his head without denying the accusation as they exited the studio room, which was formally Mizuki's, another sieyuu who was fired not too long ago. The issue was concealed from the other voice actors. In the work place that was known for gossip, the question ran through everyone's mind: why was he fired? Besides the members of the Board, there was only one sieyuu who knew.

"Iruka," Genma announced.

The men stopped briefly in the hallway as the familiar brunet walked to them with Shizune at his side. Kakashi's face turned deadpanned at the mentioned Iruka, but he remained silent as Iruka bestowed the same distasteful expression.

"Good morning, Genma," Iruka said. And with a monotone voice he added, "Kakashi."

Kakashi looked away and replied, "Is it really raining that hard? You're looking pretty wet there, Iruka."

Iruka kept a cool head even while Shizune was biting her nails in foresight of a potential verbal dispute. "Thank you," he said, artificially charmed. "And on my way here I thought you looked quite nice yourself across the room, until I got closer. Why don't you go back there?'

Genma covered his hand to suppress a series of snickers, until he felt the collision of a hand slapped over his gut, causing him to swallow the laughter and groan. "What? That was pretty good," he managed out.

Tension was running high; Iruka gave Kakashi a spiteful look, hoping the Earth would open up and swallow him whole. Genma and Shizune exchanged worried looks in the middle of the hostility and they both took a step back.

"If I look good far off, then I guess we're not too different," Kakashi countered, scratching his head.

Iruka folded his arms. "I can't seem to find a connection between us both. My head can't go that far up my a—"

Just then a door to the main studio room opened, revealing a man large in size with a red flushed look on his cheekbones. He was clearly drunk, as anyone within a few feet away could smell vile scent of Nihonshu on his breath.

"Ah! There are my two star voice actors!" he said, approaching the group. The aggressive atmosphere quickly dispersed at his appearance and for a moment, Iruka and Kakashi shot each other looks, silently agreeing to engage into a peace treaty, although very unwillingly.

Shizune pressed her clipboard against her chest and bit her bottom lip. "Ah, Jiraiya…we were just getting ready for Iruka's recording session," she said.

Jiraiya, as gallant and enormous as ever, wrapped his broad arms around the necks of the opposing voice actors, reeling them close together practically bringing them eye to eye. The level of closeness bought on awkward looks from everyone but Jiraiya, who remained blissfully ignorant.

"N-Nice to see you Jiraiya," said Iruka all while his eye brows furrowed towards Kakashi. Despite the hateful stare, Kakashi countered the look with an artificial smile.

"How are my Icha Icha characters doing?" he asked.

When Jiraiya released the men, Iruka rubbed his nape thoroughly and nearly groaned. "We're doing just fine. We were just having a chat," he replied.

To spite Iruka, Kakashi wrapped a free arm around Iruka's shoulder and pulled him into a semi-hug in the same way Jiraiya had done. "Right, what he said. A friendly chat," added Kakashi.

Iruka felt a vein form on the corner of his forehead and stealthily shoved his elbow against Kakashi's rib, causing him to nearly bend over. Kakashi still smiled despite the pain, hugging the man tighter.

Jiraiya laughed, still oblivious to the fakeness of the moment and said, "Well since you guys get along then it'll make things easier for me to come out and say it!"

The pair forgot their personal war and looked up from their awkward positioned hug. "Huh?" they chorused.

"Come step into my office," he commanded. "I'll explain."

Iruka dislodged Kakashi's arm from his neck and followed silently. The door closed before Shizune and Genma could enter, leaving them to their own imagination. Genma pressed his ear to the door, listening for their indistinct voices. Shizune watched silently, failing to remind him that they were in a recording studio, hence the rooms were soundproof.

Iruka examined the décor of the office; it was engulfed with posters and items of fandom from the Icha Icha Paradise series. His character, along with Kakashi's, were the featured in the biggest poster yet. The thought of his own character being close to Kakashi's bothered him slightly, only because it meant he had to deal with Kakashi every day.

His thoughts were disrupted when Jiraiya turned and smiled. "Gentlemen, I've decided to make you guys a couple!"

No one in their right mind would have imagined the dumbfounded look that was bestowed upon the two. Iruka's jaw dropped.

"W-What do you mean?" he demanded.

Kakashi scratched his head and answered, "Maa, I think he meant our characters."

"Thank you, I know that," he quipped. "I meant, why now?"

Jiraiya rubbed his chin, looking up at the ceiling. "Well, it's by popular demand. Our Public Relations team researched all of Japan to find out which pairings in Icha Icha had the biggest fan base. And as it turns out, Ekatah and Kairu was number one. They even have a name for you guys! I think it was KaiEka!"

Kakashi stared in disbelief, questioning, "Wait, KaiEka? My Ekatah is bottom?"

Iruka pushed Kakashi away, ignoring his concerns. "So, you're pairing Kairu, my character…up with Kakashi's? Based on what couple this country wants to ship?"

The porn novelist nodded enthusiastically. "Yep. If the viewers want it, then they'll get it. You won't even believe the number of KaiEka shippers in America. KaiEka doujinshi sales is huge in terms of sales there—"

Kakashi raised a brow. "They have fan manga of us?"

He nodded, pointing at a collection across the room. "Pretty graphic ones too."

Kakashi looked on over. "Ah, how interesting."

The two were so enthralled with the matter that they failed to notice Iruka's ears steaming with anger. He struggled to maintain his serene temper. With an irritated tone, he looked back at his boss and said, "But…Icha Icha...isn't shōnen-ai! How would the transition even work? Kairu has always been a ladies' man!"

Kakashi, for once and perhaps the only time, agreed with Iruka. "He has a point," Kakashi said, detestably. "And Ekatah doesn't seem to be at all interested in romance anyway. He's just a school teacher."

Jiraiya crossed his arms. "You guys are missing the biggest turning point. They're both best friends in the anime. The romance won't be hard at all to bring out. And after deliberating with the Board, they agreed to pair them up. Our fans are mostly consisted of girls anyway."

There was no point in arguing once the Board of Icha Icha gave the okay to Jiraiya's innovative ideas. Iruka's face fell upon thinking of the head of the Board, Tsunade, figuring she was guilty of being such a closeted yaoi fan. After all, it was only reason why she dealt with Jiraiya's perverted anime.

Jiraiya didn't waste time to hear anymore protests. "Since you guys are okay with it, I'm going to go ahead and get started on writing the script," he said. "By the way Kakashi, you'll be taking over Mizuki's old studio to work with Iruka. Genma will be Raidō's partner until then."

The news seeped dreadfully into Kakashi's ears and settled harshly into his brain. He nodded anyway and watched Jiraiya practically shooing them away, closing the door behind them.

Then, a murderous intent swept the building. Iruka remained silent and continued to walk down the hall with Shizune trailing behind, worried. Genma peered back at Kakashi with an amused expression.

"You guys have been going at it like cat and dog since the last anime con. Seriously," he said.

"Maa, we would be better off being perfect strangers," Kakashi said, walking ahead of Genma. When he got to the lobby, he noticed the rain was only getting worse — a setting quite fitting to the level of horror he just experienced. Suddenly, he wasn't in the mood to go out for lunch. Out of the corner of his eye, Kakashi finally noticed Izumo and Raidō sitting nearby.

Genma leapt over to Raidō's side and grinned mischievously. "Hey, Rai you wanna have lunch with us?" he asked.

Raidō moved away from Genma's space invading expression. "No thanks. I told Iruka that we would have lunch together later."

Genma's lips fell into a frown, his toothpick drooping. "You never wanna have lunch with me," he whined. Just as quick as he felt upset, his face brightened. "Oh, great news by the way!"

Knowing Genma to never be serious about anything, Raidō didn't give him his undivided attention and only asked, "What?"

"We're officially voice partners," he said. "Isn't that great?"

Raidō's eyes widened and he stood quick enough to frighten Izumo and Genma. "That's terrible! What makes you say that? Iruka's my partner."

"Iruka's been punished to work with Kakashi. Jiraiya and the Board decided it," he answered. The Board was absolutely martial law; but that didn't stop Raidō from stomping away from the two with Izumo behind. Genma twirled quick enough to grab his wrist. "Where are you going?"

Raidō pulled away and replied, "I'm going to sort out this mess!"

When the duo left, Genma hung his head at his futile attempt to prompt his crush to lunch. Man, was Raidō oblivious? Genma figured he should be more obvious, and now that they were officially partners, he'd have more chances to be with him! Breaking out of his thoughts, Genma remembered they were on a tight schedule and on a whim he turned back at Kakashi, who was gawking at something.

"Kakashi?" he called. "What's up?"

Kakashi pointed to the empty umbrella pail, sighing and replied, "Someone took my umbrella."


	2. Rule Two

Rule Two: The Key is Sharing Common Ground

  


ӂ - ӂ

 _The heat of the sun was simmering against the tired young man who sat under the leaves of a willow tree. The man shifted a little until he got comfortable and leaned against the trunk, borrowing some shade. Letting out an extensive sigh of relief at the reprieve from the blistering heat, he wiped away his sweat. He was glad to be able to catch his breath before heading back to the school to teach his demon students._

 _There was a gentle breeze, practically a luxury during the heat of this season. The man shut his eyes, and sat like that for a long time, rolling his head back to savor the relief that swept around his heated body. After a long time, for what seemed like hours, he gradually opened his eyes. His light brown eyes met curious black ones, making him sit up in surprise._

 _"A-Ahh! Kairu!" Ekatah called, startled. "W- What are you doing here?"_

 _"You know, for a shinobi you tend to let your guard down a lot," Kairu drawled, scooting over to sit near him. Ekatah wondered how many times Kairu had caught him daydreaming before he continued, "I happened to be in the neighborhood and then I spotted you, so I came to marvel at your beauty."_

 _Ekatah snorted lightly. Kairu was certainly a ladies' man, so he was used to being the victim of his best friend's lame pick-up lines and excuses. Ekatah didn't know if the man did it to spite him or for the fact that, with his feminine physique and long silky brown hair, he could have passed for a woman._

 _"That's nice of you, but you didn't answer my question," Ekatah said, crossing his arms in an interrogational manner._

 _"Hm. Well, I came by the Academy to see you but they said you went out on a lunch break," he replied, looking up casually up at the sky. Ekatah joined him in the cloud-glazing thoughtfully, wondering why Kairu would visit him during his teaching hours. Then, the thought hit home._

 _Ekatah's eyes instinctively grew wider in realization. "Oh, no! I forgot that we were supposed to have lunch today! I'm so sorry! It's just that the kids have been making a mess. Today we had kunai practice and then they decided it would be fun to throw them at the poor squirrels—"_

 _Kairu interrupted him with a burst of laughter. "It's okay. Hmm...you'll make it up to me tonight, won't you?"_

 _Ekatah nodded enthusiastically as if the answer were obvious. "Of course! I'm a terrible friend, aren't I," he asked worriedly._

 _"Hn…yes you are," Kairu teased mischievously. Ekatah immediately felt worse but Kairu reassured him with a wholehearted chuckle and an arm over his shoulder. "I'm kidding. I'll walk you back to the school."_

 _Ekatah stood, dusting off bits of grass from his legs. "I won't get lost," he said. "I know the way."_

 _Kairu's usually indifferent eyes went wide in disbelief. "But sensei! What if you get attacked by a missing-nin from Kirigakure on your way to the Academy? How would your dear students react?" he gasped._

 _"What a terrible scenario," Ekatah laughed. "And why would a missing-nin from Kirigakure want to attack me?"_

 _Kairu rubbed his neck. "Well, he'd actually be after me and what better target than to attack the heart of a ninja?" he asked._

 _Ekatah felt blood rushing to his face and mentally prayed it would stop. It didn't help that a smile was tugging at his lips._

 _Pleased with the reaction, Kairu walked alongside him, their footsteps falling in sync. He continued rubbing the back of his head—a nervous habit that only occurred in Ekatah's presence. When he gathered enough courage, he looked over to his friend and began, "Un, Eka…I've been meaning to tell you something."_

 _Ekatah looked forward as the Academy came into their range of sight. "What is it?" he asked, distractedly, currently plagued by thoughts of returning to his malicious classroom. "Kairu?"_

 _"Ah, well I think you should know that I—"_

"—don't approve of this change! How could you do this!" A voice demanded loudly, trouble invading the room as Raidō barged in. Izumo followed timidly behind with an apologetic look for being unable to stop his friend from coming in.

Jiraiya placidly lay his pen on top of the manuscript he had been writing for the show and eyed the intruder with concern. "What's wrong?" he asked. Ah, just when the story was getting good...

Raidō's jaw tightened. "What's wrong? What's wrong is that you've taken my voice partner away from me!" he growled, frustrated. "I just can't work in the same studio as Genma! I worked better with Iruka!"

Izumo looked at them both, perturbed, and stepped back. If Raidō had something along the lines of a pet peeve, it would be named Genma. To Raidō's dismay, Genma happened to have a thing for him—everyone knew it; everyone, that is except Raidō himself. In retrospect, Izumo should have performed his best friend duties towards Raidō and inform him of Genma's raging crush on him (which might save Raidō the pain of figuring it out on his own), but it was all too amusing. Not to mention Izumo was sure Genma would never get a chance at Raidō.

He'd even placed bets with Kotetsu and Asuma.

Jiraiya sighed extensively and stood, not at all surprised. "Well it's necessary if I'm going to pair Kakashi and Iruka's characters," he explained. He noticed the bewilderment that appeared on their faces. "Ah, I assume Iruka didn't tell you the details?"

"Kairu and Ekatah?" Raidō asked once Jiraiya had garnered his attention—his anger forgotten—momentarily. "How is that possible? Icha Icha isn't—"

"–shōnen-ai? How would the transition even work? Kairu has always been a ladies' man?" Jiraiya offered, remembering Iruka's counterargument. "After studying the statistics, we've come to the conclusion that people just want them together more than any other couple, especially with females that watch our show. KaiEka was number one in fandom pairings."

Izumo's laughed, or giggled more like. "Well, at least Iruka is on top," he snickered. Izumo was always a look-on-the-bright-side kind of guy.

Jiraiya grinned. "Your character, along with Kotetsu's, came in the top ten too, Izumo."

Izumo reddened at the thought, turning his gaze away. "A-Ah, is that so?"

Raidō twitched. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "This is crazy. Genma—"

Jiraiya waved a hand dismissively, cutting him off. He made his way around his desk and addressed the men. "Listen, Kakashi and Iruka have already agreed to this partnership. They were more than happy"—surely—" to get onboard with this new approach. I suggest you do too."

Izumo noticed Raidō shake nervously, if not angrily, and nod against his opposition for the new partnership. Starting from the first few months of Icha Icha's production, Izumo was well aware that Raidō harbored romantic feelings for Iruka. It started nearly three years ago when Iruka was hired from 81 Produce, a notorious voice talent company. Raidō had been the one to get Iruka settled in the new job and everyone had gotten along with him easily, especially a man named Mizuki.

Seiyuu worked in pairs for two reasons, according to Jiraiya. The first was for feedback, whether it was positive or negative ( which unfortunately for Kotetsu, most of his feedback from Izumo was negative due to his flamboyant character in the show). The second reason was because it made for character conversational flow, hence Jiraiya's decision to pair Iruka with Kakashi.

Before Raidō , Mizuki was Iruka's first seiyuu partner. It was rare to keep the same partner for more than a year, but they lasted three years until Mizuki was fired. So when Raidō found out, he was more than happy to be Iruka's new voice partner.

"I understand," Raidō finally managed.

"Great! Glad this mess has been sorted out," Jiraiya said, practically shoving them out of his office. Once they were ushered out of the room, Raidō hung his head in defeat. Izumo tilted his head, met his defeated eyes and offered a smile.

"You really like Iruka, don't you," he asked softly.

Raidō's head shot up as he slapped a hand over Izumo's mouth. "Shh! What if someone hears you," he whispered nervously.

Izumo laughed under his hand, peeling it away gently. Well, it wasn't like nobody knew. "There's no one here. You're overreacting. I don't know why you don't just ask him out—"

"Yo, 'Zumo! Rai!" Kotetsu blasted."I'm finally done for today! Where's 'Ruka?"

Izumo felt Raidō give him a seething stare as if to say I-told-you-so, and promptly ignored it "He got in a little late, so his sessions are going to take long," Izumo answered. Before Kotetsu could ask further questions, Raidō stalked off, leaving them behind. Kotetsu looked at Izumo and scratched his head.

"Err, did I miss something important again?" he asked.

Izumo chuckled nervously. There was a lot to explain.

ӂ - ӂ

Shizune was watching Iruka closely from behind. He could tell she was worried. The way she clutched her clipboard towards her chest gave it away. They hadn't spoken about what had just occurred in Jiraiya's office and he wasn't sure he wanted to discuss it right now. It would only end with his day being further ruined. She was obviously concerned for him.

He smiled at the caring thought, feeling an urge to relieve her of her worries. As an assistant to Tsunade and the voice acting director, she had a lot to worry about already. Iruka stopped midway through the doorway and turned to apologize for his distraught, practically rude behavior. A second before he could say anything, a door nearby shot open.

They both heard a loud thud and then some shouts. Eventually, a seventeen-year-old boy came tearing down the hallway and leaped into Iruka, embracing him tightly. "Iruka-sensei! Iruka-sensei! Please don't let them send me to school! I don't wanna go!" he shouted. Iruka, caught off guard, fell back against the wall as he held the heavy load. Despite the awkward position they were in, Iruka smiled and patted the boy's yellow head.

"It's nice to see you too, Naruto," he said. "But erm. Why don't you want to go to school today?"

Uzumaki Naruto looked up, frowning as if there wasn't any logical explanation to want to go to school. "My teachers are forcing me to go to after school studies," he mumbled resentfully. "Please, please! Can't you tutor me like you used to? I don't like the way they teach!"

Iruka gave him a meek smile. He didn't like to deny the boy anything. It was easy for Iruka to give into Naruto's childish antic, because, like Naruto, he had come from a harsh childhood background. They were both similar in that they had lost their parents at a young age. Unfortunately for Naruto, he lost his when he was two so the only memories he had of them were through pictures.

Naruto had been in foster care until Jiraiya and Tsunade, the happily married couple, decided to adopt him. That was the point in Naruto's life when he decided to become a voice actor and signed up with the voice talent agency, Love Live.

"Moron!"

A hand collided with the back of Naruto's head. The hand belonged to Naruto's voice partner and schoolmate, Uchiha Sasuke.

"Idiot, stop acting like a five-year-old and let's go. We'll be late to school because of you," he griped.

"Ah! You asshole!" Naruto growled.

They exchanged glares until Iruka broke the tension by stepping between them.

"Naruto…I'm afraid Sasuke is right. Your education is very important and I promise that if you need extra help with homework, I'll be here to help you," he offered. Naruto looked down, disappointed at his old tutor's apparent betrayal.

Damn it. Iruka hated that kicked puppy look.

"I don't need school 'coz I'm going to be the best saiyuu ever! I'll become rich and famous!" Naruto boasted, throwing a fist up into the air. Sasuke's hand landed on his head for the second time.

"It's seiyuu, you moron," Sasuke corrected, gripping his school bag tightly in his impatience. "I'm not going to let you ruin my perfect attendance just so you can avoid going to school. I'm leaving. It was nice seeing you, Iruka. Shizune."

"Nice seeing you too," Iruka said, watching Sasuke leave Naruto behind. Naruto looked at Iruka, desperate for guidance. "Go on, Naruto."

"Before I go, I had one other favor to ask," Naruto began, quickly glancing behind him to make sure Sasuke was definately out of the picture.

"What is it," Iruka asked.

"Um…an autograph," he began meekly, extending a picture of Ekatah. "For…this girl I like in school. She likes Icha Icha. And she likes Ekatah a looooot," he drawled.

Iruka deadpanned, reluctant to sign it. "She'd better be older than eighteen if she watches Icha!" he teasingly warned.

Naruto's face fell. "Come on, Iruka-sensei! She's turning eighteen soon. Wouldn't it be an awesome present if I got her favorite character's signature?"

He couldn't argue with that logic. If she watched Icha Icha, then that was a parental problem.

"Fine, fine," he muttered, signing the picture with a sigh. "What's her name?"

"Haruno Sakura," Naruto replied.

"Now go to school and focus," Iruka commanded.

Naruto gave him a salute. "Yessir!" He nodded, waving at Shizune and Iruka. "Thanks a lot, Iruka-sensei!" he shouted down the hall, catching up to Sasuke.

Shizune laughed. "I hope he never changes," she said.

Iruka found it odd that she was amused by his childish antics. For a seventeen-year-old, he really did act five "Well, it wouldn't be so bad if Naruto matured a bit." He laughed. "At this rate, it'll be bad for my health if Naruto continues to jump on me like that."

ӂ - ӂ

After a hard day's work (the definition of hard to Kakashi was being in the same building as one Umino Iruka) Kakashi and Genma spent the evening at a local teriyaki restaurant, Jou-Nin's. It was a nightly routine that included their closest friends such as Uchiha Obito, Maito Gai, and Sarutobi Asuma.

They sat in a row on bar stools. Kakashi turned to glance behind him, watching beads of cold rain pummel the windows of the bar. The pellets of water beat in harmony with the drone of car tires churning against the pavement outside. He grimaced. At least tomorrow promised sun.

For what seemed to be endless hours, Kakashi sat mesmerized, gazing out the window at the blurred scenery.

"Drink?" a voice offered.

It snapped Kakashi from his thoughts. "Yeah," he answered, looking up to meet Obito's eyes. He hadn't previously been conscious of his presence or, he forgot.

"The fuck is distracting you?" he asked, handing Kakashi an opened bottle. Obito was always the foul-mouthed one.

Kakashi took a drink, shrugging.

"He's been like that since he got demoted at work," Genma answered. "That and he's absolutely mortified that someone stole his umbrella."

"Demoted?" Obito repeated, confused. "But Kakashi's the fucking main character, right? Why the fuck would they do that?"

A hand slapped Kakashi's back, causing him to spit his drink back out.

"This is Utmost Saddening news! And it is Preposterous! My Eternal Rival could not have been degraded!" Gai shouted for the entire bar to hear.

Kakashi rolled his eyes, wiping his mouth. "I didn't get demoted. Genma's exaggerating," he muttered.

"Then what the fuck is he talking about?" Obito asked, stuffing a teriyaki strip into his mouth.

Genma poked Kakashi's arm with a chopstick. "Kakashi here just happened to get paired up with Iruka at work," he explained. "Now they'll be working in the same room together."

"MAGNIFICENT!" Gai bawled. "Then does this mean that you have settled your Eternal Animosity with The Graceful Iruka?"

Kakashi fixed Genma with a glare as he emptied a bottle of hot sauce onto his food. There was a shout from behind the bar before Kakashi could answer. With a raised glass and an attitude that rivaled Obito's foul-mouth, Anko the bartender yelled, "Did you guys come here to fucking drink or talk about work?"

Obito joined her. "That's fucking right! And…where the hell is Asuma?"

"He said he was going to be late," Kakashi answered. "...Said something about prenatal classes with Kurenai. She's due in three months."

Obito snorted, inadvertently taking an overly large bite out of his teriyaki strip. Kakashi half smiled, knowing Obito wanted to avoid talking about kids.

"So, when are you and Rin…?" Kakashi suggested, unable to stifle a grin of triumph as Obito hacked out his chicken.

Obito was dating Rin, another one of their childhood friend of ten years. Obito and Rin had been dating for five years and though Obito loved her, she already wanted to get married and have kids. The thought scared Obito shitless.

"Shut the fuck up!" Obito grumbled. "No kids!"

It seemed pointless to Kakashi, since they acted like a married couple already.

Genma and Kakashi chuckled. Obito looked at them. "What's so damn funny?"

"Nothing," they replied together.

Obito ignored them, ordering several drinks for himself.

A shot glass slammed in front of Kakashi's face. He looked up to Anko with a confused look. "One Jägerbomb for Kakashi coming up!" she exclaimed, pulling out a can of Redbull. Kakashi fixed her with a confused stare.

"Compliments of the woman to your far right," Anko explained, handing Kakashi a napkin with a number. "And here's your booty call. Thank you and come again!"

Obito snorted. "Fucking manwhore."

"Well…it has been a while since I had a woman," Kakashi grinned, raising the shot glass of mixed liquor and Redbull. His eyes wandered to the woman, sizing her up for all she seemed to be worth. "She's not bad looking either," he decided.

Obito contemplated retorting to the statement, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. The woman wasn't bad looking. The blonde woman smiled, excusing herself from her friends at the corner of the bar and walked idly by Kakashi.

"The name's Joy," she said, though Kakashi hadn't really cared for her name.

"Kakashi," he replied, and then cut to the chase. Ignoring Obito's amused look, Kakashi wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and stole a bottle of sake from his friend, drinking it in one fell swoop. He let out a deep breath after taking his drink. Tonight, he needed every drop of liquor in his body since tomorrow was going to be the first official day he'd be working with Iruka.

"Your place or mine?" he asked, leading her out of the bar.

But it was okay. After all, if there was one thing he was good at besides voice acting, it was being late.

ӂ - ӂ

Iruka tapped his fingers impatiently against his script. He set his wristwatch idly on the table, and there was a long moment of fairly unwanted silence in which Iruka played with the end of his pencil, occasionally gazing raptly at the clock overhead. It seemed like it was tallying the seconds much too slowly.

Unable to keep his frustration from appearing in his voice, he pushed the intercom button to communicate with Shizune who had been watching him from the sound room. "He's late," Iruka's brow twitched in agitation. "He's three hours late!"

Shizune pressed the intercom with an apologetic look. "Maybe there was traffic or something came up," she offered in an effort to calm him.

He swallowed his peaking anger since Shizune was not at fault for Kakashi's lateness. Grudgingly, he went back to reading his script laid out before him.

Shizune's muscles loosened. She looked over at Aoba who was dozing off in the midst of Iruka's anger and waiting for Kakashi. She poked at his side, grabbing his attention as he nearly fell of the chair before managing to save himself by grabbing a hold of the table.

"W-Wha—? Is Kakashi finally here?" Aoba asked, straightening out his hair and sunglasses, an effort very much in vain since they were constantly slanted across the bridge of his nose.

She shook her head, receiving a groan in response. "We'll give him ten more minutes. Then you can call it a day."

Aoba nodded, leaning on the table. "Man, I can't imagine how upset Iruka must be to have Kakashi as a partner. Kind of a bold move for Jiraiya if you ask me…He's like one of the highest paid actors," he said bashfully. It had to be admitted. "Especially after what Kakashi said to Iruka…that day of AniCon."

Aoba felt Shizune's stance stiffen at the mentioned anime convention in Fire City. Thousands of fans had turned up at the event, more than Icha Icha had anticipated. It was a success in regards to numbers, so they'd had to improvise. She remembered it very well because it was her first convention as Icha Icha's newest voice acting director and she had been the one to overhear everything Kakashi said to Iruka before they'd all went to the seiyuu panel.

"Jiraiya doesn't know anything about it," Shizune finally said, narrowing her eyes to Iruka from behind the soundproof glass.

He looked at her in surprise. "But…everyone who's been here long enough seems to know about it."

Shizune and Aoba soon jumped in surprise as Iruka's voice cut off their gossip. "I can hear everything you're saying!" Iruka said, pointing to the intercom.

Aoba twitched, yelping as he realized that his elbow had been on his intercom button the entire time. He mumbled an apology and slowly sank down his chair. Shizune turned back to Iruka, who may or may not have been bothered at being the subject of their talk, simply smiled and nodded.

The door inside the recording studio opened abruptly. Kakashi waved over at Shizune and Aoba and lazily strode to his seat.

"You're three hours late," Iruka grumbled, not giving Kakashi the benefit of eye contact.

"Really?" Kakashi looked at his watch, tapping the glass lightly. "Hm…my watch must be three hours off," he said, shrugging.

Iruka's nose wrinkled. "Let's just get this over with."

Kakashi simply gave Iruka a smile, casting Aoba thumbs up before putting his headphones on.

Iruka rolled his eyes and leaned towards the condenser microphone, clearing his throat before Aoba gave him a slight nod and began to read his script out loud. "An A-rank mission already Tsuko?" he asked, his voice turning down a few notches. It was cool and collected, and anyone who knew Iruka well could never imagine him with such a voice. As he spoke, Iruka's expressions also darkened, adapting to Kairu's character.

Tsuko was Kotetsu's flamboyant character in the show. On the screen hovering above Iruka and Kakashi, Tsuko was talking. There was a pause before Iruka picked up and replied in character, "Understood. I will report to the Hokage until I get back." Kairu turned, his back facing Tsuko. "Please inform Maki that I'll have to postpone his training. He'll be disappointed."

Tsuko nodded on screen. "Take care of yourself. And don't worry about Ekatah," he said. Kairu said nothing. "I'll take care of him for you! I'll be there when he needs a shoulder to cry on, when he needs a hug, when he's feeling lonely—" he leered until receiving a punch on his arm.

The scene shifted towards Kakashi's character, Ekatah in the middle of a ramen bar with Maki, Naruto's young character.

Kakashi ignored Iruka's hard look towards him and began to read. "You shouldn't be so disappointed. I'm sure Kairu had a very important mission—"

"What the hell?" Aoba said. A confused but amused look crossed his face. His eyebrow lifted in sudden interest. "Someone seemed to have tampered with the voice tempo."

"O-Oh my," Shizune muttered, biting her lip to control her snickering. Her effort went to waste as she bent down, clutching her waist and went into fits of laughter.

Kotetsu and Izumo entered the room from behind, only to be puzzled by Shizune and Aoba's hysterics. Astonished by their uncontainable mirth, Kotetsu asked, "What's going on?"

"L-Listen…" Aoba managed out. He handed spare headphones to the duo, waiting for them to respond.

They listened in for a minute, letting what was happening register in their minds.

Kotetsu didn't show much self-restrain and suddenly roared with laughter. "I-Is that…K-Kakashi's voice? H-He sounds like a castrated chipmunk!" As he laughed, he choked on his own saliva and began pounding on his own chest.

Izumo, the more stoic of the two, went over and commenced slapping Kotetsu's back, though it didn't seem to be helping at all.

"This says Iruka all over," Izumo whispered worriedly though, it did amuse him.

"Genius," Aoba said in agreement, wiping a tear. "Totally makes up for working overtime."

"Shouldn't we tell him?" Shizune asked, still giggling.

Aoba smirked. "Nah. We'll let Iruka have his glory moment."

Kakashi, unaware of what was taking place or the fact that Iruka remained with a grin on his face, continued to read off of his script.

ӂ - ӂ

In the end, after Kakashi discovered the unruly prank Iruka had played on him, he was forced (along with Aoba) to re-record his lines. Though Iruka apologized to Aoba tremendously, the man had reassured him it was fine. In fact, he hadn't been this amused in a very long time. Iruka made mental note to keep the pranks coming, not for the sake of humiliating Kakashi – oh no, Iruka wouldn't have wanted that for his favorite person in the world — really, this was all just for Aoba's entertainment.

Iruka stretched, forcing every thought of work aside as he turned to his nibuta. The pork was close to being tenderly simmered, ready to top his ramen. He turned the meat in the large skillet while adding some sake.

The relishing moment was short lived. A doorbell cut him off and he hurriedly went to answer it, opening the door to reveal Raidō, Kotetsu, and Izumo. They entered with beer cases in hand.

"It smells like home," Kotetsu hummed, strolling over to the stove.

"Just don't drool all over the food," Raidō said, smiling as he handed Iruka a bottle. "I know you hate beer, so I brought you some fine wine from France. It's probably older than you."

Iruka's eyes glistened pleasantly. "Thank you. I'll surely get hammered with you guys, minus the hangover."

Raidō grinned. "Let's not have a repeat of last week's drunken fest."

A head popped out from the kitchen. Kotetsu slapped a hand over his mouth and giggled. "Yeah, 'Zumo. Wouldn't want that to happen again!"

Izumo flinched, nearly dropping the cases of beer. "I-I thought we weren't going to talk about that anymore! A-And, in my defense, Iruka shouldn't have smeared chocolate all over Kotetsu's stomach and double-dog dared me to lick it off for money. It was his plan!"

"And it was worth it," Iruka reminisced. "Of course, I didn't tell you to give him an exotic dance—"

Izumo grimaced at the memory, shielding his dear virgin ears with his hands. "La-lalalalala…I can't hear you! Can't hear you!"

"So while Izumo is having a sexual-identity crisis," Iruka looked over his shoulder, watching as Izumo practically did the rain dance in his living room. "Let's have some food."

ӂ - ӂ

In a matter of thirty minutes, Izumo still managed to get drunker than the trio. Though, in retrospect, Izumo was the calmest of the three so it didn't surprise any of them that he was the loudest when he was drunk as a skunk.

"I hate this game," Kotetsu grumbled, taking a swig of his beer. "Fuck."

Izumo stared at the desk in front of him. "Goldfish, bitches!" he slurred loudly, nearly tumbling over the circle of cards.

"Wrong game," Iruka laughed, helping Izumo sit up. "This is Blackjack. And you have twenty-three…you lost."

Izumo frowned and folded his arms across his chest with a pout. "S'not fair…"

"What about you, Iruka," Raidō asked. "You've got seventeen. You need four more."

Iruka looked down at his cards – a Jack, a five of diamonds, and two of hearts. He would need a four. It was a dangerous margin to play in, but he had a good feeling. That and the wine that Raidō brought was finally kicking in.

"Hit me," Iruka said, confidence etched in his voice. He beamed as Raidō brought him a card from his stack and by the look of it, Iruka had won…

"That's five of Spades," Raidō announced, grinning from ear to ear. "That makes twenty-two. So close!"

Iruka frowned. "That means you won…again. Bastard."

Raidō smiled. "Looks like it."

Izumo looked at the men, his face flushed and red from drinking. Then, he looked at Kotetsu. "Methinks Raidō rigged the game," he whispered – or rather, tried. Kotetsu covered his mouth in time to let out a giggle.

"I was born on a full moon, so I'm just very lucky," Raidō replied coyly.

Izumo cackled. "Psshh…your excuse is more hyphenate than any explanation Kakashi comes up with when he's late!" he retorted.

Raidō took a new bottle of beer from the table next to him, opening it with a pop against the corner of Iruka's kitchen table. "Clearly, you're not drunk enough if you can use 'hyphenate' in a sentence …or that you know I'm cheating," he said, noticing Iruka's discomfort at the mention of Kakashi. "Drink up!"

Iruka silently mouthed a thank-you Raidō, though he didn't notice since he was busy forcing the drink down Izumo's throat, with the help of Kotetsu. Iruka chuckled. If there was ever a time Iruka wished he could stop time for a moment, it would be at a time like this.

 __

"You're a criminal, aren't you Iruka? You've got everyone fooled…like you're some kind of embodiment of perfection."

Iruka's eyes went to the floor at remembering the harsh, biting words that Kakashi had said. He remembered the way Kakashi had pinned him to the wall, fueled by anger and disbelief, threatening him with clenched fists.

 __

"But I know the truth. What you did…the truth is that you—"

"Iruka, a little help!" Kotetsu called.

He pulled himself out of his reverie as Izumo began to laugh hysterically as Raidō and Kotetsu began to tickle him. His mind had been wandering of its own accord lately and Iruka couldn't help but smile, thankful to have them as friends to distract him.

"Hold him down tight," Iruka said, pushing every thought of the incident out of his mind. It wasn't like he was at work right now, so there was no need to go back to those dark memories. It wasn't like Kakashi knew Iruka at all. They didn't have much in common other than both being famous seiyuu.

Really, the only common ground they shared was their hate for one another.

**Author's Note:**

> Posted as "80x18" on FFNET. Uploaded to AO3 if FFNET does not tickle your fancy.


End file.
